Obscenity Cake Food

BETTER THAN SEX CAKE II

Steps:

• Bake cake according to package directions for a 9x13 inch pan; cool on wire rack for 5 minutes. Make slits across the top of the cake, making sure not to go through to the bottom.
• In a saucepan over low heat, combine sweetened condensed milk and caramel topping, stirring until smooth and blended. Slowly pour the warm topping mixture over the top of the warm cake, letting it sink into the slits; then sprinkle the crushed chocolate toffee bars liberally across the entire cake while still warm. (Hint: I crush my candy bars into small chunks as opposed to crumbs - I like to have pieces I can chew on!)
• Let cake cool completely, then top with whipped topping. Decorate the top of the cake with some more chocolate toffee bar chunks and swirls of caramel topping. Refrigerate and serve right from the pan!

IS IT REALLY BETTER THAN SEX? CAKE

Steps:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
• Prepare yellow cake mix as directed using a greased 13x9x2-inch pan and bake for 30 to 35 minutes.
• While cake is baking, combine the pineapple and 1 cup of sugar in a saucepan, and bring to a boil over medium heat stirring constantly.
• Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly.
• Remove cake from oven and using a fork, pierce holes into cake.
• Pour pineapple mixture over hot cake and set aside.
• Prepare pudding according to package directions.
• Spread pudding over cake and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled.
• Whip heavy cream and remaining 1/3 cup sugar until stiff.
• Cover top of cake with whipped cream and sprinkle toasted coconut on top.

EMERGENCY CAKE

Steps:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
• Cake: In a mixer with a whip attachment, mix the dry ingredients together. Add the softened butter, lukewarm milk, beaten egg, and vanilla and mix well for 2 to 3 minutes. Pour into a parchment lined 8 by 8-inch cake pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 25 to 35 minutes.
• Broiled Icing: In a mixer with a paddle attachment, mix all the ingredients together. When the cake is done, take it out of the oven and, while it's warm, spread the icing on the cake to cover the top. Place it under the broiler until it bubbles all over and starts to brown. Cool then cut into squares and serve.

PANDAN CHIFFON CAKE

Steps:

• Preheat the oven to 325°F and place a rack in the center.
• Make the yolk batter. Heat the oil in a saucepan over medium heat, until it reaches about 176°F. Remove from heat. Add the cake flour and whisk until combined. Transfer the mixture to a large bowl, cover, and cool for a few minutes. Mix in the coconut milk. Add the egg yolks, baking powder, pandan extract, and sugar and whisk until combined and smooth. Set aside.
• Make the firm peaks meringue. Using a stand mixer or hand mixer, beat room-temperature egg whites and a stabilizing acid (like vinegar, cream of tartar, or lemon juice) on medium-high speed until foamy and opaque, a few minutes. Lower the speed to add the sugar in increments. Turn the speed back to medium-high. For firm (or medium) peaks, continue to beat the meringue until the peak holds its shape better. When you flip the whisk upside down this time, the peak, while more distinct, will still droop and fold back on itself.
• Make the final batter. Add one-fourth of the meringue to the yolk batter. Gently whisk until incorporated. Add another fourth of the meringue to the yolk batter and whisk until incorporated. Then pour all the batter into the bowl with the remaining meringue. Use a flexible spatula to gently fold the meringue into the batter, until homogenous, thick, and creamy. There should be no white streaks remaining in the batter. If stubborn lumps of meringue remain, use a whisk to gently mix them into the final batter.
• Pour the batter into an ungreased 9-inch tube pan. Tap the pan against the counter a few times. Smooth out the top of the batter with the whisk.
• Spray a large sheet of aluminum foil with cooking spray and place it over the top of the pan. Bake the cake for 25 minutes. Carefully remove the aluminum foil. Reduce the temperature to 310°F. Bake for an additional 20 to 25 minutes, until thoroughly cooked and golden brown. Insert a bamboo stick into the cake. If it comes out clean, the cake is ready.
• Remove the cake from the oven. From a height of about 3 inches above the counter, drop the cake pan down to shock the cake. Repeat two more times.
• Invert the pan and place the tube on a lidded jar or an inverted cup. Cool completely before removing the cake from the pan. Be patient as this can take a few hours. Run a knife gently along the edges where the cake adheres to the tube pan to remove the cake.

OBSCENITY CAKE

Steps:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease bottom of 9 x 13 inch pan (or use nonstick spray). Mix together and spread into pan: · 1 brownie mix plus ingredients according to package · ½ cup chopped nuts (optional) Mix the following together and spread on top of brownie mixture: · 2 cups graham cracker crumbs · 1 can Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk · ½ cup milk · 6 ounces chocolate chips Cook at 350 for 30 minutes. When cool, mix together the following and spread on top: · 3 cups powdered sugar · 2 tablespoons milk · 6 tablespoons margarine/butter · 1 teaspoon vanilla Melt the following together and spread on top: · 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate · 2 tablespoons margarine/butter Let top layer cool and harden .then enjoy!

GRANDMA'S DEPRESSION CAKE

Steps:

• Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees.
• Combine sugar, water, vegetable oil, raisins, and spices in a saucepan, and bring to a boil. Boil for 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Take pan off heat and let cool for 10 minutes.
• Dissolve baking soda and salt in 2 teaspoons of water and add to raisin mixture (it will foam).
• Blend in the flour and baking powder. Mix well.
• Pour the batter into a greased 9 inch square pan and bake for 55 minutes, or until a toothpick unserted in the center comes out clean.
• Let cake cool for about 10 minutes before serving.