Uncle Skwerls Speckled Pig Paint Grilling Sauce Food

GRILLED SPIRAL PIGS IN BLANKETS

Steps:

• Soak 6 wooden skewers in water for 15 minutes.
• Prepare a grill for indirect heat. (For a gas grill, turn one burner on each far side to medium heat and the middle burners to low; for a charcoal grill, bank the coals on one side of the grill.) A grill thermometer should read 325 to 350 degrees F.
• Tear off a long piece of foil and fold into thirds so it's about the size of a baking sheet. Spray the foil with cooking spray.
• Push the hot dogs onto the skewers so the hot dogs are flush with the top. Use a sharp paring knife to cut a spiral (4 or 5 rings total) along the hot dog, cutting all the way down to the skewer. Gently pull the hot dog down to open up the spiral.
• Unwrap the crescent dough. Cut it crosswise into 6 pieces. Roll each piece into a snake 8 to 9 inches long. Press one snake into the cut spaces in each spiral, wrapping it as you go and tucking in the ends.
• Set the foil on the indirect (low) heat part of the grill and add the hot dogs, leaving some space between each. Grill, covered, until the bottoms of the dogs are golden and top of the dough is set, 5 to 6 minutes. Flip the skewers and cook until the bottom is browned again, 5 to 6 minutes more. Flip once more to an unbrowned side and grill until the dough is cooked through, 5 to 6 minutes more.
• Transfer the pigs in blankets to a platter and serve with ketchup and mustard.

PRETZEL-ISH PIGS IN A BLANKET WITH MUSTARD SAUCE

Steps:

• For the dough: In a bowl, combine the warm water and yeast. Stir to dissolve the yeast and allow the mixture to rest for 5 minutes.
• Using a sieve or strainer, sift about half of the flour over the yeast mixture and mix with your hands until smooth. Add the oil, honey and kosher salt. Sift over the remaining flour and mix to combine.
• Lightly flour a cutting board or flat surface. Turn the dough onto the floured area and knead until the dough is smooth and the ingredients are fully integrated, 3 to 5 minutes. Lightly oil a bowl and place the dough inside. Cover with plastic wrap and let it rest in a warm place until it has doubled in volume, about 1 1/2 hours.
• For the mustard sauce: In a medium bowl, whisk the mustard, honey, hot sauce and vinegar with a splash of warm water. Taste for seasoning. Set aside.
• Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
• For the pretzel-ish pigs in a blanket: Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper sprayed with nonstick cooking spray or silicone baking mats and set aside. Sprinkle some flour on a flat surface. Roll the dough out into an 18-by-13-inch rectangle about 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick. Cut into 2 1/4-inch squares. Roll each mini hot dog in a single piece of the dough. Pinch the seam and ends to firmly close, tucking the excess on the ends underneath. Place each wrapped hot dog seam-side down on one of the prepared baking sheets.
• For the baking soda bath: Prepare a third baking sheet or large platter with parchment. In a medium pot, bring about 6 cups of water to a boil over medium heat. Slowly whisk in the baking soda a bit at a time. Working in batches, use a slotted spoon to drop each pig in a blanket into the water for 30 seconds, then remove and transfer to the prepared third baking sheet or platter.
• Transfer the pigs in a blanket in a single layer back onto the original baking sheets, allowing some space between each. Sprinkle the dogs with the pretzel salt or kosher salt. Bake in the center of the oven until the pastry is nicely browned, 25 to 30 minutes. Lightly brush with melted butter before serving. Serve with the mustard sauce on the side.

UNCLE SKWERL'S SPECKLED PIG PAINT (GRILLING SAUCE)

Steps:

• Blend all ingredients in a bowl with a whisk.
• Refrigerate until use.
• Use a brush to mop this sauce on pork or, on chicken that you're going to either grill or smoke.
• Enjoy!

WHOLE ROAST SUCKLING PIG

Steps:

• Heat oven to 300 degrees. Prepare the pig: Wash it, including the cavity, under cold running water, and towel-dry thoroughly, the way you would dry a small child after a bath - ears, armpits, chest cavity, face, legs, backs of knees.
• Sometimes there are imperfections remaining after the slaughtering and processing of the animal. Use dish towels or sturdy paper towels to rub away any dark spots on the ears, any little bit of remaining bristles around the mouth. Like that yellow, papery flaking skin you sometimes find on chickens, which can be peeled off to reveal tender, fresh skin underneath, a similar bit of crud can remain on pigs' chins and under their belly flaps. Clean this little cutie as if you were detailing your car! The purple U.S.D.A. stamp, however, is indelible. But not inedible.
• Bard the pig with all 20 garlic cloves, making deep incisions all over with a thin filleting knife and shoving the cloves into each pocket; include the cheeks and the neck and the rump and the thighs and the loin down the back and the front shoulders, all areas of the small creature that have enough flesh to be able to receive a clove of garlic. (Sometimes I find I have to slice the larger cloves of garlic in half to get them to slide into the incision.)
• Rub the entire pig in oil exactly as you would apply suntan oil to a sunbathing goddess of another era, when people still were ignorant of the harmful effects of the sun. Massage and rub and get the whole creature slick and glistening. I do this directly in a very large roasting pan.
• Wash and dry your hands. Take large pinches of kosher salt, and raising your arm high above the pig, rain down the salt in an even, light dusting all over. You can start with the pig on its back and get the cavity and the crotch, and then turn it over and get the back and the head and flanks. Or vice versa. But in the end, the whole animal is salted evenly and lightly, snout to tail.
• Arrange the pig in the roasting pan, spine up, rear legs tucked under, with feet pointing toward its ears and its two front legs out ahead in front. Sometimes the pig needs a sharp, sturdy, confident chiropractic crack on its arching spine, just to settle it in comfortably to the roasting pan, so it won't list to one side or topple over.
• Put the potato deep into its mouth, and place in the oven, on the bottom rack, and roast slowly for about 4 to 5 hours, depending on the size of your pig. (Plan 15 minutes of roasting time per pound of pig; if you have a 20-pounder, then you'd need about 5 hours total cooking time.) Add a little water to the roasting pan along the way if you see the juices are in danger of scorching, and loosely tent the animal with aluminum foil in vulnerable spots - ears, snout, arc of back - if you see them burning. For the last half-hour, raise the oven temperature to 450 degrees, and cook until the skin gets crisp and even blistered, checking every 10 minutes.
• Tap on it with your knuckle to hear a kind of hollow sound, letting you know the skin has inflated and separated from the interior flesh; observe splitting of the skin at knuckles - all good signs the pig is done. Or use a meat thermometer inserted deep in the neck; the pig is ready at 160 degrees. Let rest 45 minutes before serving.
• Remove the potato, and replace it with the apple. Transfer the pig to a large platter; nestle big bouquets of herbs around the pig as garnish. Save pan juices, and use for napping over the pulled meat when serving.