A Far Far Better Cake Food

A FAR, FAR BETTER CAKE

Steps:

• Place an oven rack in the top third of the oven and crank the box to 350°F. Then prep two 9-inch round aluminum cake pans by rubbing on a thin layer of butter on the bottoms and sides, and then flour. Finally, line the bottoms of both with a round of parchment paper.
• SiftYou can use a sifter for this or a fine sieve. the flours together with the baking powder and set aside.
• Load the paddle attachment onto your stand mixer and beat the butter on low speed just until smooth, about 1 minute. Follow with the sugar and salt, boosting the speed to medium. Continue to beat until the mixture is light and fluffy, about 4 minutes, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl after each minute or so.
• With the mixer still on medium, add the egg yolks one at a time, fully incorporating one before adding the next. When all eight are in, kill the mixer and scrape the bowl. Return the speed to low and slowly addI like to use a paper plate to dose in the flour...great multitasker. half the flour mixture.
• When the first half of the flour mix is worked in, add half of the milk and all of the vanilla. Stop and scrape the bowl yet again then return to low and slowly add the remaining flour. Then scrape one more time, making sure there's no dry flour hiding in the bottom of the bowl. Congratulations, you've conquered the creaming method.
• Divide the mixture between the two pans. I use a scale to ensure even distribution and that means about 660 grams per pan. Smooth the tops with a rubber spatula and tap the pans against the counter to remove any air pockets.
• Bake until the cakes reach an internal temperature of between 207 and 210°F, which typically takes between 30 and 35 minutes. The cakes should be golden brown and a toothpick inserted into the center of the cakes should come out clean.
• Remove from oven and cool cakes on a wire rack for 15 minutes then de-pan onto the rack and cool to room temp before frosting.

BETTER THAN SEX CAKE

Steps:

• Pre-heat oven to 350.
• Make and bake cake as directed on package in a 9 x 13 pan.
• Poke top of warm cake every 1/2" with handle of wooden spoon.
• Drizzle sweetened condensed milk evenly over cake and let stand until milk has absorbed into cake.
• Drizzle with caramel or butterscotch topping.
• Run knife around sides of pan to loosen cake.
• Cover and refrigerate about 2 hours or until cake has chilled.
• Spread cool whip over top of cake.
• Sprinkle with toffee chips.
• Store cake covered, in the refrigerator.

IS IT REALLY BETTER THAN SEX? CAKE

Steps:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
• Prepare yellow cake mix as directed using a greased 13x9x2-inch pan and bake for 30 to 35 minutes.
• While cake is baking, combine the pineapple and 1 cup of sugar in a saucepan, and bring to a boil over medium heat stirring constantly.
• Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly.
• Remove cake from oven and using a fork, pierce holes into cake.
• Pour pineapple mixture over hot cake and set aside.
• Prepare pudding according to package directions.
• Spread pudding over cake and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled.
• Whip heavy cream and remaining 1/3 cup sugar until stiff.
• Cover top of cake with whipped cream and sprinkle toasted coconut on top.

BETTER THAN SEX CAKE II

Steps:

• Bake cake according to package directions for a 9x13 inch pan; cool on wire rack for 5 minutes. Make slits across the top of the cake, making sure not to go through to the bottom.
• In a saucepan over low heat, combine sweetened condensed milk and caramel topping, stirring until smooth and blended. Slowly pour the warm topping mixture over the top of the warm cake, letting it sink into the slits; then sprinkle the crushed chocolate toffee bars liberally across the entire cake while still warm. (Hint: I crush my candy bars into small chunks as opposed to crumbs - I like to have pieces I can chew on!)
• Let cake cool completely, then top with whipped topping. Decorate the top of the cake with some more chocolate toffee bar chunks and swirls of caramel topping. Refrigerate and serve right from the pan!

BETTER THAN...CAKE

Steps:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two 9 inch round cake pans.
• In a large bowl, combine cake mix, pudding mix, eggs, water, oil and sour cream. Beat with a mixer until smooth. Stir in chocolate chips.
• Divide into two 9 inch pans. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 45 minutes.
• Frost with Cream Cheese Frosting or Sour Cream Chocolate Frosting.