CONGRESS, NOW MORE THAN EVER, OUR NATION NEEDS YOUR …
5 days ago That is why, today, The Onion calls upon our lawmakers to sit back and do absolutely nothing. Members of Congress—now, more than ever, our nation desperately … From theonion.com
The Onion is the world’s leading news publication, offering highly acclaimed, universally revered coverage of breaking national, international, and local news events. From store.theonion.com
May 12, 2025 The Onion shares the perfect two-day itinerary for Starbase tourists. Day One. 9:30 a.m. Get started at the visitor center. From the airport, head straight to the Starbase … From theonion.com
TRUMP OUTLINES BOLD VISION FOR GOLDEN AGE OF CHINA - THE ONION
Mar 5, 2025 WASHINGTON—Promising a glorious future marked by limitless prosperity for the East Asian nation, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision Tuesday night for a golden … From theonion.com
Sep 28, 2021 Cancer (June 21 to July 22): While they can’t guarantee things will turn around for you, the stars do offer galaxy credit on any horoscopes returned within 30 days. From theonion.com
2 days ago Why I’m Sending Issues of ‘The Onion’ To Every Member Of Congress The following is an open letter from Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce P. Tetraeder that was included with … From theonion.com
Jun 18, 2025 Today Now Archives features satirical news content from The Onion, offering humorous takes on current events and societal issues. From theonion.com
Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault. Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in … From theonion.com
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