I Cant Believe Its Not Cheesecake Cocktail Food

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT POTATO SALAD!

Steps:

• Place cauliflower in a large microwave-safe bowl, and pour 1/3 cup water over it. Cover and microwave until soft, 6 to 8 minutes. Once the bowl is cool enough to handle, drain any excess water, if needed.
• Put 2 cups cauliflower in a blender or food processor and set the rest aside. Add the mayonnaise, sour cream, Dijon mustard, ranch dressing or dip mix, non-dairy creamer, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Puree or pulse until blended. Don't worry if the puree isn't completely smooth. Set aside.
• To the bowl with the remaining chopped cauliflower, add the onion, celery, egg whites, chives, dill, 2 tablespoons parsley, and rice vinegar. Add the pureed mixture and lightly stir to coat.
• Chill for several hours before serving. Garnish with paprika and additional parsley, if using. Mmmmm!

(I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT) CREAMED CORN

Steps:

• Using a sharp paring knife, start at the top of the cob and score the middle of each row of kernels. The object here is to puncture the individual casings so that it is easier to force out the contents (as described in step 2). The depth of the incision, as well as your ability to slice a straight line, is of no consequence.
• Grab your largest pot and a common dinner knife. Hold the cob inside the pot. Starting at the top of the cob, run the backside of the blade down the cob, using pressure to force out the meat and milk from the casings. Be forewarned, this is a messy job (hence the pot) that requires a healthy amount of muscle power. If possible, do this outdoors.
• Discard the cobs and transfer the corn mash to a smaller pot. If you decide to add butter and/or chipotle do it here. Warm over a medium heat for a few watchful minutes, stirring frequently. If you warm corn for too long, or over too high a temperature, the natural liquids will evaporate and the corn will become gooey.
• Season with salt and pepper, and serve immediately.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE

Steps:

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
• Fill a large, microwave-safe dish with 1/2 inch of water. Place squash into the dish and cover. Microwave for about 8 minutes and then drain (the squash should be tender enough to mash, but not overcooked).
• With a potato masher, food processor, or fork, mash the squash thoroughly, but do not puree (the squash should be pulpy). Add soy milk, syrup, sweetener, salt, egg substitute, vanilla extract, and cinnamon. Mix the ingredients thoroughly, but do not over-stir.
• Transfer to an 8-inch by 10-inch baking pan sprayed with nonstick spray. Bake in the oven until mostly firm, 45 to 50 minutes.
• Top with mini marshmallows. Return to the oven until the marshmallows begin to brown, about 5 minutes. Allow to cool before serving!

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE THAT" CAKE

Steps:

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C). Line the cake pan with parchment paper and brush or spray with oil. Cream together the butter and sugar in a large bowl until they begin to go pale. Add half the eggs and the all-purpose flour and mix well. Add the rest of the eggs, cake flour, unsweetened cocoa, salt, and baking powder and beat for a minute or two until the mixture is uniform. Dollop into the prepared pan and bake in the oven for 30 to 40 minutes, or until a skewer inserted in the middle comes out clean. Let cool in the pan.
• Meanwhile, make the buttercream. Put the butter and confectioners' sugar in a bowl and whisk together until the mixture begins to go fluffy. Add the cooled melted chocolate and whisk for a further 2 minutes.
• Once the cake is completely cool, remove from the pan. Carefully cut the top flat with a large serrated knife. (Eat this bit as a chef's perk.) Turn the cake upside down on an 8in (20cm) cake board so that the bottom now becomes a nice flat top. Split the cake horizontally and sandwich the top and bottom together with a 1/2in (1cm) layer of buttercream. Spread half the remaining buttercream all over the top and sides of the cake, making it as smooth as possible. Put it in the refrigerator to set before doing another layer. This makes it much easier to get good squared-off edges.
• Gently push the cigarillos or wafers vertically onto the sides of the cake, positioning them as straight as possible and making sure they touch the bottom. The next step is up to you. I can't tell you the wide-eyed looks you'll get when you walk into the room holding the finished cake. Decorate with fresh flowers for a Christening or wedding, strawberries for a big family gathering, or with figs for a man's birthday. Serve with a self-satisfied grin.

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT'S...." LEMON TOFU CHEESECAKE!

Steps:

• Preheat the oven to 350°F.
• In a medium bowl, combine graham cracker crumbs, maple syrup and almond extract.
• Mix until the graham cracker crumbs are moistened.
• Prep a 9 inch springform pan by spraying the bottom and sides with nonstick oil spray, or by oiling with a paper towel.
• Tip crumb mixture into the prepped springform pan and press it evenly on the bottom.
• Bake the crust for 5 minutes, then remove it from the oven and set it aside to cool while you prepare the filling.
• Blend all the filling ingredients in a food processor (or blender) for about 30 seconds, or until smooth.
• Pour filling into the springform pan over the cooled crust.
• Bake for about 30 minutes or until the top of the cheesecake is lightly browned.
• Remove the cheesecake from the oven and allow it to cool.
• Place the cooled cheesecake in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours until it is thoroughly chilled and firm.
• To serve, take a long knife and heat the blade in hot hot water.
• Slide the blade of the knife along the edge of the cooled cheesecake to ensure that it will separate from the pan.
• Release the springform ring, slice, sprinkle with slivered almonds if desired and serve cold.